The main characters (live in Pokrovsk): (narration is carried out on behalf of the author - I), mother, father, Oska - younger brother, Annushka (servant), Marfusha (servant), cousin Mitya, zemsky, director (nickname - Fisheye) , Tsap-Tsarapych, inspector, Athos Recruit, Pharaoh, Joseph, Atlantis, Bindyug, Arkasha (son of a cook), Latin teacher - Tarakanus or Long-necked, e-mue history teacher, French teacher, Commissar Chubarkov, three aunts, military La -Bazri-De-Bazan (marquis), Kirikov -man-toadstool (alchemist), Dina (cousin).

Conduit

Oska and I lost the queen from my father’s chess; he put us in a corner. We came up with a new game: to play in the country - Swamp. Then the queen was found, but by that time the father had already cut out another, and we made the old queen the guardian of the swabbran secret, imprisoning her in the grotto, which was taken from her mother. So we played for several years. Our country on the map was depicted in the form of a tooth, and there were oceans around. Our Swabrania waged wars with Balvonia and Caldonia. I was a king, and Oska was a postman who brought letters calling for war. Our country has always won. All the inhabitants of the country are seafarers and watermen who walk on Breshka. The most important sailor is Jack, the companion of sailors, he is a polyglot.

We represented our house in the form of a large ship. Father (doctor) is a home captain. Dad is a good person, he’s always joking, but when we got it, mom (pianist) served as a “silencer”. Father was often called to the hospital at night. We rode in a tarantay until our father threw us into a ditch. Oska loved to fish out goldfish from an aquarium, and then bury them in a matchbox; once brushed his father’s teeth with a brush, and she scratched his hands. After that, the father bought us a little kid, who then tore off all the wallpaper, chewed his daddy's trousers, for which he was given back.

I read the book Around Us and learned from it how they are doing. Oska knows a lot of words, but confuses them all. He once met with a priest in a park, whom he mistook for a woman. And the priest told Oska about God ("but, I know, Christ is Risen his last name ..."). Annushka (the maidservant) took us to a wedding in a church, and we came up with the idea that Swabrania is a kingdom of heaven, and the priest in our country was called Hematogen. We divided all superiors into: liquid (parents), solid (director of the gymnasium) and gaseous (police and zemstvo head). A cousin Mitya came to us at Christmas time, who was expelled from the Saratov gymnasium for disrespectful reviews of the Law of God. His sacred duty is to do filth to bosses. A masquerade ball was organized at the Commercial meeting, we were also invited. Mitya wants to annoy the Zemsky. To do this, he decided to take Marfusha with him, whose suit is a large postal envelope with a fair supply of Marfushi stamps. Martha took first place, for this she was given a golden watch. Zemsky became interested in her and wanted to find out who she was, but she was stolen. After father said that it was our maid, and the Zemsky directly turned red. Someone on the porch of the Zemstvo screwed a very large bot with a letter: whoever suits, that will be the Zemstvo boss. He realized that it was Mitya, and they gave him a reprimand. I was admitted to the gymnasium ("They shaved! They talked about me!"). We spent the summer before the gymnasium in the country. The day before class, they shaved me naked, and on the first day of the gymnasium, they pulled out buttons. My mom and I went to the confectionery and met the director there. We were not allowed to attend various entertainment venues - they immediately fell into a conduit. Conduit is a book where all our tricks and penalties were recorded. It was also called the Pigeon Book, because we had the overcoat of the same color as the pigeon-pigeons. We directors (nickname - Fisheye), we were very afraid.Tsap-Tsarapych kept an eye on us all the time so that we would comply with the requirements of the conduit. But the inspectors loved. When we were fined, he kept us standing for an hour, and then let us go home. Earlier in Pokrovsk there were wire pens instead of calls, but the doctor made a call in his apartment with electric batteries. A little later, he appeared at all. The Athos Recruit lived in a shalman - a jack of all trades, who fixed calls for everyone. Often we went to him, discussed books. Once a fight broke out in the People’s Garden, and the director forbade walking there. All high school students began to resent this story, but Oska found a way out: cut off all calls in the city in protest. The whole city signed up for Mount Athos, but the calls were cut off anyway. No one else set himself, except the Zemstvo chief, and put Pharaoh to him, but the call was cut off again (the Zemstvo’s son hid it in his hand). The bailiff ordered Pharaoh to find the thieves (for 50 rubles). Pharaoh gives bribes, but Joseph is silent. Pharaoh had a tattered manifest in his hands, in which was the name of the Zemsky son, and he reported everything to the director. Pharaoh came for Atlantis, Bindyug himself came to the director. All eight were expelled. Joseph came to the principal and said that the whole gymnasium + the Zemsky son had made calls and asked us to be admitted to the gymnasium again. Now the order in the gymnasium has become tougher, the Latin teacher - Tarakanus or Long-necked - puts us especially hard 1 and 2, the history teacher raises the guilty for the whole lesson, the Frenchwoman is always offended. Somehow I was fleeing the janitor, running on the roofs, and met the girl Taisa. I dedicated it to the secret of Swabrania, and she revealed the secret to some boy. We are playing war with Oska, Klavdyusha (daughter of a cook) is a captive. She received a letter from her son, which said that his arm was cut off, we really felt sorry for her. We do dirty tricks to the teacher: gunpowder explodes under his soles, gunpowder and pepper are poured into tobacco. The teacher went to complain to the director. We meet wounded soldiers, the spirit of the times pervades us, Oska wore a toilet ring in a hole with a portrait of Nicholas II. We were taken to the main town with the girls' gymnasium to show an example battle. 1916 ends. December 31, parents went to friends to celebrate the New Year. A classmate of Grishka came to visit me. We went out with him and saw a horse in the harness of a rich man and decided to ride. But the horse still could not stop. Then Tsap-Tsarapitch came out, and the horse stopped in vain. He said that he would write us in conduit and leave us after the holidays for 4 hours without lunch. He asked if we were allowed to ride, to which we answered “yes”. He decided to find out, mounted his horse, she chased. At this time, the owner came out and saw that the horse was stolen, and called the police. After the holidays, Tsap-Tsarapich did not recall this incident. Oska made an important conclusion: the Earth is round because the globe is round. D. Lyosha called and said that the revolution had overthrown the king, and asked to pass this on to his parents. I went outside, I wanted to scream to everyone about the revolution. Tsap-Tsarapych noticed me and wrote me in conduit. In the gymnasium, everyone told this news. A portrait of the king hung in the classroom, and we stuck a burning cigarette into it. It turned out that Nicholas II smokes. Through the fence we pass notes to the girls' gymnasium, they are also for freedom. Atlantis heard teachers want to overthrow the principal. The director did not come to the demonstration (referred to the disease). The committee expels the director; in a hurry, he forgets to put on ears. The director went to seek help from the parent committee. The director came to the secretary (my father) and met with Oska. He calls him Wobble Eye. Parents are afraid of freedom for children - will bloom. In the gymnasium, marks are canceled, instead of them: choir., Beats., Unsat., Bad, exc. Arkasha (the son of a cook) is smart, he began to study for free in my class. Arkasha is in love with Lucy (daughter of a wealthy chairwoman). But her mother is against. He became haggard, began to study worse, then he heard that there were no more Barins, and wrote her a letter.The teacher grabbed him, read and ridiculed Arkasha in front of the class. And then Arkasha realized: the world is still divided into paid and free.

Swab

Meetings and rallies took place everywhere, I also wanted to participate in them. We gathered a circle of scouts and did good deeds. The end of the conduit came: we burned it along with the diaries at the stake near the gymnasium. We spent the summer of 1918 in the village of Kvasnikovka, clawed nettles and destroyed grebes, and found a huge fly agaric. For our absence, Breshka has changed; one rich man was defeated in a liquor store. Our gymnasium was combined with a female one. We ourselves went there and chose our girls in the classroom. Even newcomers from the higher elementary school arrived to us, but we did not like them. The girls came up with a new game - "peepers". In the evenings, we danced and we watched so that the boys from the “B” class would not dance with our girls. At the gymnasium they gave tea with refined tea, which was a deficit. I carried sugar home and laid it as an untouchable supply. I was in the dining room a sugar distributor. Bindyug proposed sugar, which remains, to divide into two. I refused, he put me on the bandwagon and I broke my forehead. They took school to school, and I taught him how not to be beaten. The "peers" are forgotten, everyone was carried away by the French struggle, including Oska. We have a new history teacher, “e-mue”, we liked him. Our gymnasium began to wander around the city. We catch up on algebra, the teacher remains with us after school, parents are in shock. Our class suggested that class “B” measure their strength in algebra. We prepared before this day until 12 at night, and it was possible to walk only until 11, the patrol took us. We said that we went to the pharmacy for castor oil (“B” also got caught and “went for iodine”). Champion-Bindyug, our class won. But it turned out that Bindyug was writing off, so fame and sugar were divided into two classes. The commissioner asks us to stay after class and draw posters about the rash. We really wanted to eat, but we stayed. After that, the commissar fell ill, he had typhoid, and had a temperature of 41. The commissar was recovering, but was still weak. Transferred him to an apartment, I brought him books. A poster hung on the wall on which the Red Army soldier pokes his finger. I look at him, and he looks at me, as if we are playing “peepers”. I brought him my sugar for tea, but before me they also “tried” and brought it. Oska and I introduced mortality in Swabrania, Oska said that on the street some soldier asked him about Swabrania. I think Oska believes in its true existence. At school, he talked about our country, he was assured that it was not there, and the soldier asked not about Swabrania, but about headquarters. Three aunts came to us. One does not pronounce "r", the other - "l". They decided to take up our education. We moved to live in another house. Dad said that people are miserable slaves of things. Children, learn to despise things. We broke the dish, to which dad said that we are vandals and before you despise things, you need to learn how to protect them and earn money. Mom was not at home, and at that time the piano was taken. Mom in shock: under the lid lay a valuable bundle with overseas fragrant soap, and we added swabranian documents to it. I went with my mother to “help out” the package. I played polka, ditties for everyone, and my mother was an overture from Prince Igor. Everyone was thrilled. The commissar recovered and was settled next to us. Oska played with him in "Paws-choppers", then dad connected to them. The military La Bazri de Bazan, whose aunt called the Marquis, settled in another room, and a commission to combat desertion settled in the third room. We had disappeared a package with soap, dad called Chek, a package was found at the Marquis, and we also found our maps of Swabrania, we were forced to tell the boss about our country, which caused him a fit of laughter. We moved again. Every day, our aunts took us to the theater. Lunacharsky. Pokrovsk captured the craze for the theater. Even children's studios were opened, where we were also recorded. Dad went to the front, and I remained the main man in the house. Hunger times have come.For a pound of meat per month, I give lessons to reading and writing. Sugar from my stock is only eaten on weekends. Mom changed the shell grotto for a quarter of kerosene. In Swabrania, a period of decline began. She placed in the palace of the Eel. Oska and I examined the dead house and fell into the basement. Someone grabbed us. It was Kirikov - a grebe, a man, he invented an elixir there. The cousin Dina moved to live with us, we liked her, and she also pinched her aunt's tails. Dina was taken by the head of the library. There we organized a literary circle. The Commissioner fell in love with our Dina. Dad got sick: he has a rash, Atlantis died. It’s already boring for us to play Swagrania; Oska and I went to the alchemist. It turned out that he was not making an elixir, but a simple moonshine. Soon dad arrived, yellow with a long beard and lice. They want to close our library again, because no firewood. We proposed to make out Swabrania (house of Eel) for firewood. So our country is gone.

The cover was renamed to Engels. Recently I was in Engels to congratulate Father Oska: he had a daughter. Oska is still confusing words. We read with him all about Swabrania, remember childhood. Everything has changed in the city. Not even in Swabrania.